Escape from the U.S

I feel fortunate to receive a few comments from people out there, this makes this blogging stuff a little more worthwhile, so thanks for your comments. Meanwhile though I'm beset my perplexing problems, and a bit sad that I don't have a lot of happy stuff to post here. I'd love to show some nude pictures of my girlfriends, but I just don't have any right now. Instead I get to talk about this icky stuff.

Latest I'm concerned that the assault that occurred in Oakland to me, is affecting a lot of things, surprisingly my employment. Its affecting me, and maybe others. This is part of the nightmare scenario, that is happening to me ..,when a troll finally succeeds in getting me to lose or quit my job. Simply because of the pressure it is exerting on my life. If I'm not working then maybe he figures I'll "sell it".

I was assaulted by some young people in town here, over some bullshit. Makes me wonder if this Hotel didn't have anything to do with it. Even though the girl who initiated the attack kept calling me a weird pervert, was that because I just tried to take a picture of a group of people on the bus.... or was it because of this situation at the Hotel. Where they trying to scare me, into messing around with this guy, or they though I already had?

So now a week later , after taking a terrific beating by some kids I manage to go to work., My vision is slowly returning to normal, my balance is coming back, my face appears normal. But at work, I work around a lot of people , and a lot of African-Americans, as I am one. But now are they embarrassed by me? I'm wondering now am I an embarrassment to them because I might remind them of their kids , which are becoming more desperate, and unruly. I fear for my physical well-being sometimes traveling around town. Some of these kids might have it in there minds that I'm some sort of easy mark, that there supposed to beat me up or abuse me because, I'm some sort of pervert or I'm supposed to be some trolls date and they are afraid?

Not all kids are bad here , has I have run into many thoughtful one, some who try to appolize. I would be a little concerned for all them. There is just to many drugs, lots of guns and no jobs for these kids,in AMERICA . These kids could become dangerous. I think they mostly want help... There mostly not getting the help by the adults. Particularly the ones in leadership..And some of there parents, who make it there business not to work, sit around ingesting illicit substances. Many of there parents can't do much cause they cannot afford alimony, they can't work, many of them are in the drug trade to make money. But the African-American kids really suffer. And its the BAD parents or Adults , who in my opinion instead of trying to fix a bad situation, just make it worse, by brings everyone down to there gutter level. But how am I supposed to help, Do I save myself?...I work, I tried to play a little music, maybe the kids would get it in their minds to try education to be self sufficient. But they ruined my guitar amp, then stole my guitar. I'm afraid of more reprisals..And then how am I supposed to defend myself? I'm thinking about buying another gun, this time something I can conceal, presently I brought some pepper spray..All illegal of course, but it might be better than getting beat to death by some kids like I almost did. And what are the cops doing? Not much

I'm thinking about leaving california, but I don't really have aloty of mony to make a successful go at it. My fault. I'm trying to save some money, and I had hope to stay at my job long enough to get an additional 2000.00 , that if I can get retirement benefits...I'd be looking at retirement at 42 with very little money. Thats if I survive a year here. I be very fortunate to be able to get out of the U.S, even with very little money, I think.