Back to my story...

I recently I'm thinking about buying a gun. There are many good reasons for this. For one I got tired of going to my mother house and actually hearing threats (one from a some bad neighbors), and another from a passerby by, about them having to harm my mother. This started over this on-going mess in my life over my stay at the Oaks Hotel in Oakland ,California, and the management and tenants attempts to hook me up with a white tenant there. I've since left there, filed a complaint with the State..but I'm like facing harassment and threats at work, by alot of people I don't know ("Why doesn't he want to punk him?"), and threats to my mother , ("Were going to have to shoot your mom cause you won't Ho him"). What's wrong with these Niggaz's? Its the middle of Black history month in America..I don't think you know it living in California theses days. And with my experience living here being an African-American, I think I've experienced more harrassment from Black folks, coercion, threats, scapegoating. Nathan Bedford Forest would be proud.

I go over my mom's house cause she's living in a 2 story, four bedroom house with a 16 year old girl, and my Grandmother. My mom ,who's getting elderly (sixty?) is hardly a force to defend herself. It's a big house she lives in and I know she must be a bit afraid ..I fear she doesn't get enough sleep cause she acts as though she doesn't sometimes.

She can hardly afford to pay her big utility bills to stay warm in a big ass house. I've asked her to let me stay there, but she won't let me stay there even though I work and can pay alittle (rather than pay nothing at all when I come to visit her frequenty). The added stress and her poor health, I'm afraid is going to take it's toll on her and all her kids are going to have to pay...