Tired.....

Just feeling emotionally spent. In the last two days I've been having bad dreams. The first I was being tortured by Mafioso, by pouring lighter fluid on my head, the second I had a Mafioso "Hit man" after me, chasing me in a large house. He kept getting in shotgun range of me, but I desperately tried to find my own shotgun but couldn't find it ( my mother actually hid it from me in real life). I was sleeping over my mother's house).These dreams come at a time when I'm complementing leaving this residential hotel. I talked to the management about there procedure for leaving ..they require 30 day notice.

I don't have anywhere planned to go to, or to live at...But I think there is a need for me to leave here, continual harassment by other tenants where I live ("why can't you punk him") is getting to me. I might have some complaints of the type of clientele here, my neighbors, an unemployed couple ( living in a 8X8 room), white, and crack smokers possibly. Crack is everywhere, maybe I can get to a city in the USA where there aren't too many of these types and the drug dealers? Staying seems a idea but, heroic.

I've have an interesting good job, which I 'm loathe to give up, but there have been changes in my job, with a new Supervisor, My company AC/Nielsen has decided to
suspend our retirement benefits..for the whole company. A\C Nielsen was brought our a long time ago by this Dutch company called VNU. I guess the writing was on the wall for AC\Nielsen in America a long time ago that this thing was bound to happen. I been with them for almost 6 six years (part-time). Its been a blast this is actually the longest I've been with a company..long enough to get a retirement package, at 43. I'm vested with the company so I got some retirement money coming, but it wont accumulate much after Sept 2006.

I feel in part this is courtesy of President Mr. Bush and his administration..I mean the realities of America's economic situation hits me, it bodes very ill for me and the youth of this country. A job like I had would be great for youth, with a retirement plan, now this is one job where they won't have that. Even my new Supervisor, a Latino guy, an ambitious person with Smarts, now has no retirement plan for the company he works for (he's not vested), he's reduced to, as in the past, of speculating and gambling with his 401K for his future.

What about jobs here. I hate to say maybe A/C Nielsen has been a offender in this regard as they shipped some jobs overseas that would have been great jobs for Americans. Its the jobs that troubleshoot technical problems for a scanning device us Retail Data Collectors use for A/C Nielsen retail. Whenever I call for technical support..I end up talking to some Tech in India. I like Indian's but why not here in America? Well maybe because Indians are better educated, and the cost of living India is cheaper than in America ( and no Unions!). But those would have been great jobs for Americans..but for all that George Bush give companies like ours a tax break for doing this.

I don't know if I can be critical of George Bush and his administration. They may have felt an imperative to go to Iraq and like, but maybe the cost just might end up being too great in the cost of lives lost, money spent.

Are we any the better for it? Are we any the better for it Ms. Rice? Hell there closing down schools in America, the youth are becoming socially and culturally retarded. Well what would I do if I were Prez now. I don't know ,but I think of a bumper sticker I read once that went something like.....

"it will be a blessed day in America when they have to have a Bake sale to buy a Minuteman missile, and teachers and professors become the highest paid profession."