Hitting the wall

I've Hit the wall, I'm just tired. I've been working for almost seven years (part -time) with no vacation. My job doesn't offer a paid vacation. And its hard to think about a vacation and to have to return here.

I worked because I wanted to help me people, provide an example for my people, to stand up for at least myself, to pull some of my own weight. Now I'm tired maybe. All I got mostly from My people is ANTAGONISM, they have to fuck and murder me, and maybe my mother, all for just some bullshit. That what trying to help my people got me. I lived with that for many years now and got lots of gray. But its harder to go out to work for on somebody else when the brothers start killing there own,a good man.

They killed a African-American editor of a small newspaper, The Post. Its a real set back for the whole community, its the stuff that would make Nathan Bedford Forrest proud. Its hard to work on anybody behalf in this town when they start doing that .

What is it ,that the Nation of Islam is declaring war on regular black folks and influential ones who don't agree with there philosophy? There the one being blamed behind the murder. Maybe I will be next, maybe you..who knows?

Then I'm living in this Residential Hotel, Some rooms have two people living in these spaces, bathrooms and a kitchen here, economical but very tiny rooms.
I think there lots of dope here though the management has strong language against it in the lease. My neighbors next to me probably do lots of it, there's two in one room there. They don't work, as do most people in this Hotel.

I think I like people but then this white couple constantly get in my business, I think the girl was somewhat attractive, kind of a las Vegas hooker type, but she's always with her "boyfriend" who just seem like a punk, a real one. I have no taste for either of them, but they probably need a room worse than me, and they give me a real bad time, and some of it centers around gossip about where I used to stay, and they may have connections.

I got a gun....I need to leave here before I hurt someone. I didn't intend on coming to Chinatown to shoot some Chinese. I have some money tied up in my job, but i'd have to leave my job to get it. I'm listening to the radio while a cyclist says never to give up.

The management here while nice, seem to want to cater to the drug crowd here. I sought help from the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing , but in the intake, the counselor didn't think I had a case...HA!

This hotel is in the heart of Chinatown and is run by the Chinese.

I moved here to get away from the shenanigans of what was going on in the Oaks Hotel, only to find the same thing going on here, maybe worse, with this new property manager the third one in the third year I've been here. With all these Asian, Mexican immigrants here I don't think they give a damm about civil rights, nor do they even understand what they mean. As A naturalized Black American citizen instead of being treated has a 3rd class citizen, now it as though I have no rights at all. That seems to be the rule of the day in America.

What do I do? Maybe I'll include some pictures.